Moving In Together For The First Time
Moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife for the first time can be all kinds of scary, intimidating & exciting – ALL the feels. If you know me or if you’ve been following along with this blog for a while, you probably know that Michael and I have been together for about four years now and one of those years we did the long distance thing. By an act of some miracle, we both graduated (a year apart) and were able to find jobs in the same STATE. This was a big deal. I still remember the feeling of when I got the phone call that I got the job – it’s like one of those feelings that you want to bottle up and feel forever. Michael had been already working for a good six months when I moved up to Philadelphia and for the summer it was kind of like we were still long distance because Michael’s job is located in Emmaus, PA, an hour away from Center City Philly. It was still tough. I started to get used to only seeing him on the weekends, and that’s no good. We were sick and tired of all the traveling and commuting. We both knew that the only way we could make it work and make it REALLY work is if we got our first place together when his lease was up in July.
I wasn’t sure that I wanted to move outside of Center City just yet or if I was ready to move in with him. I actually never felt ready, to be honest. I like my alone time. Sometimes I’m selfish and messy, and I like not wearing pants or a bra at home. He assured me that last one was not an issue.
So we got a place together that’s about a 30 minute train ride to work for me and an hour drive to work for Michael. He’s a trooper. I love living with him. I always have my best friend around to make me laugh when I’m down, help me reach the things in the cabinet that I can't, call me out on my bull shit and push me to work harder to reach my goals.
It’s not all fun and games, though. There’s definitely been some adapting, compromising and learning. And there still is, it’s only been 4 months! So if you’re planning to move in with your significant other, here is some food for thought that helped me. I also reached out to a few of my blogger friends in similar boats for their perspective! I like to call it the three C’s and a P! (Communicate, Compromise, Clean & Plan)
This is the biggy. If one or the other likes something a certain way, state your opinions and talk through it. Communicating about everything will save you so many stupid little arguments! Does it really matter who emptied the dishwasher one extra time or who forgot to take the trash out? You can't let little things get to you if you don't say anything.
Only worry about things that actually matter. Don't get into an argument if someone forgets to unload the dishwasher. It's not worth it. "Choose your battles" couldn't be more true! - Erin Druga of thealmondeater.com
For me it was about learning how to live with the other person's habits, while being polite (trying to, most of the time) if I want him to do something around the house. Serious team work! - Jess Dang of hellotofit.com
You're not the only one that matters. I was so used to doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted throughout college and when we were so far apart for so long, so when we moved in together I learned that I need to be considerate of what Michael wants to do too. This is an ongoing work in progress for me but it's become a lot easier since we've moved in together. I'm not as stubborn when he asks me nicely to put my laundry basket in the place where it belongs. Hey, small progress is still progress! The long distance actually made our relationship a lot stronger. I think if we were able to get through that, we can pretty much get through anything.
I just moved in with my fiance of four and a half years this past June. It's been going great so far! We even spent a year in a long distance relationship before moving in together. It's been a wild ride but definitely worth it. Honestly, I think the distance brought us closer together and made us cherish our time with each other even more. It strengthened us. - Kaylin Gilkey of enticinghealthyeating.com
We had to learn to be flexible and respect each other's schedules. As a morning person, I'd be up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym and he'd sleep in until 7 a.m., so I changed my routine to get ready in the bathroom to not wake him up. On the other end, he had to learn that I needed to be in bed at 10pm. It was a matter of finding a balance in our conflicting schedules. - Emily Ruth Weir of emilyruthweir.com
You have to be quiet if you're going to bed later or getting up earlier. This was such an adjustment since my schedule is all over the place sometimes. It's just like having a roommate so you have to figure out all those weirds details - only the stakes are higher so the ups and downs are sometimes a little more intense. - Amanda Dewitt of semihealthyblog.com
I mean, this is pretty straightforward. Don’t be a slob, college is over. Or maybe it isn’t, but if you live together in college that’s some serious dedication and you probably know more than I do. I'm still working on cleaning up my own messes...
Plan Dates & Weekend Getaways
Keep it fresh! Don't get stuck just hanging at home watching Netflix every weekend. Explore, get out of your routine and make time to do something special with each other every week. Even though we live together, I still get so excited to go out for a nice dinner or travel to a new place together. We're both crazy busy during the week and hardly see each other, so it's so nice to have a night or weekend to catch up, relax and reset.
Plan date nights. My boyfriend and I love to have little picnics inside our apartment as "date night." We dress up, make a fun meal, and enjoy a night in! We also like doing small little things for each other. - Alexa Peduzzi of fooduzzi.com
So, moral of the story is to remember the three C's and a P when you move in together! In all seriousness, though, if you are in a serious relationship, moving in together & long distance alike are the ultimate tests to if it really works. There's a lot to get used to, but overall it's such an exciting step in a relationship.
We have learned so much about each other. I would highly recommend living with a significant other before getting married to be sure that you are able to physically live with them as a full packaged deal. - Kirsten Platto of ladyandtheroutine.com
If you live with your S.O., what's the biggest thing you've learned?